What's in Your Suitcase?

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Kate_Bares-Johnson]Kate Bares-Johnson
In my relationship work with couples, I have found there are certain key elements necessary to create and maintain healthy, intimate relationships. Unfortunately, by the time couples get to my door they are already out of balance and suffering, and their energy is usually invested in blame and battle. Rather than referee, I encourage them to explore the purpose of their relationship, as well as the purpose of the conflicts, and to use the discord to learn something about themselves and their partner. More often than not, it is soon revealed that both partners have the same desires for their relationship, but somewhere along the way, began to work against each other. Recognizing this, the first step is to get back to basics.
To begin, I encourage them to explore what each has brought to the relationship. When we enter into partnership, we come with a suitcase packed with life experiences, including wounds and resentments from past relationships, fears, needs, and painful beliefs about ourselves and even about love. In other words, we come into relationships with wounds that can and will be healed through a new experience of love. With the awareness of these principles and a willingness to practice them, your relationship will begin to heal as you work toward healing yourSelf and supporting your partner in doing the same.
Principle #1: Dig in your own suitcase! Rather than rummaging through your partner's suitcase, look intently and honestly in your own and do what needs to be done to put those things away. In other words, be willing to heal your own wounds.
Principle #2: Honor and validate your partner. The very distinct differences between masculine and feminine energy, even in same-sex relationships, is necessary to the balance of all intimate relationships. Learning to recognize, understand, and support these unique qualities, rather than judging or criticizing, is honoring and validating to your partner.
Principle # 3: Do not attack! Resist attacking your partner or your Self in thought, word, and action. If you only practice this one principle, your life and your love will change dramatically.
Principle #4: Remember that you are Teammates. If a teammate makes a mistake and lets the team down, we generally forgive, encourage and pick up the slack if needed. Rather than take each other's mistakes and mishaps personally, remember you are teammates in life, working toward the same goals.
Principle #5: Remember the Higher Purpose of your relationship. We all need to feel a sense of purpose in our lives, yet we often fail to see a higher purpose for our intimate relationships. When in alignment and committed to something greater than ourselves, our relationship has more meaning, life has more value, and love has no limit!
Kate Bares-Johnson is a Spiritual/Life guide, Transformation Coach, Author, Healer. and facilitator of personal/spiritual growth experiences throughout the U.S. As founding director of The Center for Well Being in Austin, TX, Kate specializing in Intuitive guidance and counseling for individuals and couples, Soul Integration Therapy, Spiritual/Life Coaching, Past Life and Childhood Regression Therapy, and Codependency Recovery. Whether through private sessions (in person or by phone), on-going classes, or full weekend retreat intensives, her work lends a very real and powerful approach to life as a CHOICE. For more information, scheduling, or to register for upcoming classes and retreats, visit http://www.thecenterforwellbeing.com/ or contact The Center for Well Being at 512-249-5683 or [mailto:kate@thecenterforwellbeing.com]kate@thecenterforwellbeing.com. Phone sessions are also available for individuals and couples.
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